"Anatomy of a Cult Member" from Liberty for Captives
Sept 28, 2013 18:55:14 GMT -8
Post by Admin on Sept 28, 2013 18:55:14 GMT -8
A blog post written by a guy who was in a cult church. Nothing big like CoS, or extreme like Phelps, but when investigated the conclusion was:
Even though it's a religious case, the personality profile of people likely to fall in and say in cult-like groups applies whether religious or secular.
libertyforcaptives.com/2012/07/14/someone-like-me-anatomy-of-a-cult-member/
Highlights(edited/abridged. For full version go to link above):
The consultants said it was the worst case of spiritual abuse they had seen in 40 years of ministry.
Even though it's a religious case, the personality profile of people likely to fall in and say in cult-like groups applies whether religious or secular.
libertyforcaptives.com/2012/07/14/someone-like-me-anatomy-of-a-cult-member/
In this blog I have focused often on cult leaders and what makes them tick, and it seems only fair to turn the lens around and focus on what makes someone a devoted cult member.
Someone like me.
I stayed in a New England Bible-cult for 25 years, only having serious concerns during the last year of its existence. After our pastor was deposed, a church consulting agency which specializes in broken churches interviewed our elders. The consultants said it was the worst case of spiritual abuse they had seen in 40 years of ministry. Hurray for us.
Someone like me.
I stayed in a New England Bible-cult for 25 years, only having serious concerns during the last year of its existence. After our pastor was deposed, a church consulting agency which specializes in broken churches interviewed our elders. The consultants said it was the worst case of spiritual abuse they had seen in 40 years of ministry. Hurray for us.
Highlights(edited/abridged. For full version go to link above):
Here is a cocktail of six characteristics that made me a superb cult member. Do any of these describe you?
1.) Blind Follower.
All followers follow, but blind followers follow at any cost. I was so concerned to invest power in a leader that I idealized and followed even untrustworthy leaders. This made me susceptible to charismatic, confident, or charming personalities.
2.) Rule Abider/Legalist.
Cult followers usually have an exaggerated sense of rules and regulations. I sure did. For me, rules provided a rigid framework that helped me make sense of life and appeared to keep me from danger. They were like the lead blankets a radiologist lumped on me before X-rays. Heavy comfort. To me, the Bible was the ultimate Rule Book, and my pastor became the ultimate interpreter of those cosmic rules. Indeed, since my pastor claimed to have special insight into the Bible—and also claimed that God spoke to him personally—I latched on to him as an island of security in the confusing sea of life. When the rules became almost too heavy to bear, I embraced them as the lead security blanket which would help preserve my soul.
3.) Seeking Belonging.
As an insecure young man, I wanted to belong to something greater than myself. I wanted to feel part of a community of people who would love me well and serve as a buffer against the world. I found such a group in the tight-knit community of my small church. We were in, and everyone else in the world was out. God loved us and had special plans for us; everyone else was doomed.
We practiced love-bombing. Heard of it? It’s when members of a cult shower attention and affection on visitors or new members. It works beautifully especially when the visitor already feels lonely or out of place. Suddenly they feel welcomed—wanted!—and special. When I went to college, church members sent dozens of packages and letters to me. I received more mail than anyone else in the dorm. My heart glowed—finally I belonged.
4.) Low Self-Esteem.
One reason I stayed in the cult even though my brother left was because my pastor offered me cosmic significance. To a young man with rock-bottom self-esteem, this was the king of all carrots. Think of it: if I remained in my church, God would love me and give me an exalted place in his kingdom. If I left, I was damned. Put in these terms, I would be a fool to leave.
But there was a darker aspect. My low self-esteem also made me feel that I deserved the spiritual and verbal abuse inflicted by my pastor. Instead of setting healthy relational boundaries, I coiled into a co-dependent relationship with my pastor and let him run my life. When he criticized me, manipulated me, or shamed me, I agreed with him. I deserved much worse, I thought. How kind of my pastor to persevere with such a wretch as I. My low self-esteem made me susceptible to both claims to significance and abuse.
5.) Lack of Critical Thinking.
Cult members usually lack effective critical thinking skills. I continued to stay in my cult long after my brother left because I refused to call into question anything my pastor said. For me, if he said it, that sealed it. To this day, even years after leaving the cult, I tend to trust whatever a sales-person tells me. My wife sometimes has to step in to ask clarifying questions. My natural aversion to questioning authority figures creates quite a handicap.
6.) Performance Orientation.
I remained in a cult because I longed to measure up through my own performance. Our pastor told us that if we tried hard enough, God would save us. I truly believed that if I just worked a little bit harder, God would pick me for his team.
1.) Blind Follower.
All followers follow, but blind followers follow at any cost. I was so concerned to invest power in a leader that I idealized and followed even untrustworthy leaders. This made me susceptible to charismatic, confident, or charming personalities.
2.) Rule Abider/Legalist.
Cult followers usually have an exaggerated sense of rules and regulations. I sure did. For me, rules provided a rigid framework that helped me make sense of life and appeared to keep me from danger. They were like the lead blankets a radiologist lumped on me before X-rays. Heavy comfort. To me, the Bible was the ultimate Rule Book, and my pastor became the ultimate interpreter of those cosmic rules. Indeed, since my pastor claimed to have special insight into the Bible—and also claimed that God spoke to him personally—I latched on to him as an island of security in the confusing sea of life. When the rules became almost too heavy to bear, I embraced them as the lead security blanket which would help preserve my soul.
3.) Seeking Belonging.
As an insecure young man, I wanted to belong to something greater than myself. I wanted to feel part of a community of people who would love me well and serve as a buffer against the world. I found such a group in the tight-knit community of my small church. We were in, and everyone else in the world was out. God loved us and had special plans for us; everyone else was doomed.
We practiced love-bombing. Heard of it? It’s when members of a cult shower attention and affection on visitors or new members. It works beautifully especially when the visitor already feels lonely or out of place. Suddenly they feel welcomed—wanted!—and special. When I went to college, church members sent dozens of packages and letters to me. I received more mail than anyone else in the dorm. My heart glowed—finally I belonged.
4.) Low Self-Esteem.
One reason I stayed in the cult even though my brother left was because my pastor offered me cosmic significance. To a young man with rock-bottom self-esteem, this was the king of all carrots. Think of it: if I remained in my church, God would love me and give me an exalted place in his kingdom. If I left, I was damned. Put in these terms, I would be a fool to leave.
But there was a darker aspect. My low self-esteem also made me feel that I deserved the spiritual and verbal abuse inflicted by my pastor. Instead of setting healthy relational boundaries, I coiled into a co-dependent relationship with my pastor and let him run my life. When he criticized me, manipulated me, or shamed me, I agreed with him. I deserved much worse, I thought. How kind of my pastor to persevere with such a wretch as I. My low self-esteem made me susceptible to both claims to significance and abuse.
5.) Lack of Critical Thinking.
Cult members usually lack effective critical thinking skills. I continued to stay in my cult long after my brother left because I refused to call into question anything my pastor said. For me, if he said it, that sealed it. To this day, even years after leaving the cult, I tend to trust whatever a sales-person tells me. My wife sometimes has to step in to ask clarifying questions. My natural aversion to questioning authority figures creates quite a handicap.
6.) Performance Orientation.
I remained in a cult because I longed to measure up through my own performance. Our pastor told us that if we tried hard enough, God would save us. I truly believed that if I just worked a little bit harder, God would pick me for his team.