These are pretty hilarious:
Petition signer's comment
Hi! The real Ani Haines here. How do you know I'm the real Ani Haines? Well, I signed this petition with the name Ani Haines, didn't I? You can be sure, like me, every one else's signature is entirely valid, because they also have a name to use to sign it. Except for the anonymous people who couldn't think of someone they would want to be to sign this non-anon. Signing off for now, The real Ani Haines.
Commented by Ani Haines
Petition signer's comment
Hi, my faithful minions, it's me, the real Ani Haines. Nobody said we couldn't sign the petition twice. We need to help my main squeeze Theresa get the 600 signatures she says she has already. But I think Theresa is wrong about the 600 signatures. As we can all see, there are not 600 signatures to the petition,. there are tens of thousands of signatures, and all, like me, signing with my real name. We are tens of thousands strong and with those number, Theresa will get me back the job I quit. For her support, and yours, I thank you.
Commented by Ani Haines
Petition signer's comment
Hi, this is the REAL Ani Haines. How do you know I'm the REAL Ani Haines? Well, I got the Facebook, the LinkedIn, and the Uber driver car (Yes, I had to start driving for Uber since quitting my job). I wish people would stop pretending to be me, here, or pretending to be anyone else, unless, of course, you are doing it to prove Theresa is not a liar. I am certain we are going to get the entirely arbitrary number of 600 signatures. But, please, use your real name, even if you have to use it twice, and not any of the 100s of fake names you can use to prove Theresa is not a liar.
uproxx.com/tv/100-free-fake-names-can-use-tv-scripts-go-lam/ Commented by The REAL Ani Haines
Petition signer's comment
Theresa Mitchel is KBOO's Donald Trump. It is not known whither Ms. Mitchel takes a **s on a golden throne or not. In fact, it is not known if she even shits at all. Which might explain why she is so full of it. But one thing is certain. What Theresa says a crap. Like Trump. she lies repeatedly, and about stuff that is easily refutable. She say's she has never doxxed anyone. Well, she doxxed a past station manager and she recently doxxed a "Kevin." Like Trump, Mitchel has found common cause with the anti-Semitic alt-right. And, like Trump, she is a nexus for wild and wacky conspiracy theories. However, to be fair, Mitchel is not known to have ever grabbed anyone by the pussy, But her spouse Ani may have. After all, when you are the Volunteer Coordinator, they let you do anything. Ani, like Nixon, resigned to avoided being "impeached", so to speak. You know who else can be "impeached"? KBOO board members. We can only hope that Teresa Trump will be removed from her office/
Commented by Theresa Mitchel is KBOO's Donald Trump
Petition signer's comment
I, the real Theresa Mitchel, can assure you that the following people are verified contributing KBOO members, or, if not, are pretty handy at helping me get to 600 signatures. Signer #26, Dr. Anonymous, who made no comment, #29, Anonymous, made no comment, #37, Anonymous, made no comment. And also the following signatories who are also Anonymous and also made no comment.: 53, 63, 71, 76, 96, 125, 130, 134, 162, 172, 184, 185, 187, 190, 200, 202, 204, 205, 206, 216, 217, 219, 222, 231, 233, 234, 236, 245, 246, 252, 255, 260, 272, 277, 261, 283, 285, 300, 307, 350, 371, 393, 396, 398, 399, 405, 410, 412, 417, 418, 433, 440, 445, 447, 449, 457, 473, 483, 490, 510, 511, 512, 520 (Dr. Anonymous makes his return!), 536, 542, 543, and 552 (our old friend Dr. Anonymous once more!). I am especially appreciative of the signatories who make sure to let us know they are Mr. Anonymous. Its good for us to know that even anonymous men are signing. They are not just Anonymous. They are Mr. Anonymous. Or Dr. Anonymous. In one case, the signatory is 1995 Anonymous. But where are all the 1996-2019 Anonymous people who have not yet signed? Perhaps they fell prey to corporate media, or even worse, X-RAY-FM.
Commented by It's me! Your old pal Therresa Mitchell
Petition signer's comment
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Commented by Time to clean up KBOO
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IMO Theresa Mitchell is more like a "radical left" Lars Larson or Alex Jones, than Trump...tbh